I have been in Geneva for little over a month now and I have
tried to grasp as much out of this ridiculously expensive city as possible yet I
cannot shake this weird sensation of happiness that has been haunting my
thoughts here. You see I have learned a long time ago that the best gift
traveling offers you often comes free in the form of new ideas. This may not be
apparent at first but this is ultimately a post on Lebanon so stick along. As
an allegory of the last idea which crossed my mind this morning, let me start
with this example from medical school: Children diagnosed with vision
disturbances often describe not suspecting their vision of the world was blurry
before they put on glasses. They simply thought this is what the world looked
like. We are driven by mostly empirical reasoning after all and much of our
perception of the world is built through complex brain circuits which collect
data from what our senses see, smell or hear and match it to our previous
interactions with the world. Since I am an existentialist seeking happiness somewhere
on this planet this got me thinking, could it be that we cannot know happiness
before we have experienced it? Is this why some couples get divorced after 30 years
of marriage? Is it that they never knew what real love is until they met that new
stranger which ultimately liberated their own understanding of what love is or
"should be".
I am quite a conversation enthusiast and perhaps like me you
tend to discuss many aspects of your life with some of your more talkative or
receptive friends. Possibly you also dissect your intentions and driving forces
behind your actions every now and then. I have amassed quite the large number
of friends as my life progressed and they come in a wide spectrum of personalities.
Yet the voices that resonate the most in my mind and amplify my insecurities
are the ones who often tell me what I am doing wrong or what I should be doing
to be happy. Jean Paul Sartre argued that “Hell is other people” which could
loosely be understood in a “pop culture psychiatry” definition whichever way we
want. Along those same prêt-à-porter self-empowerment lines, let me give my own
interpretation here. Our need for acceptance and fear of judgment by others
often place restriction on our behaviors, our choices and can in many cases
deprive us of being happy naturally out of fear of rejection or lack of
conformity. However that is universal to Lebanon and the western world and no
Jean-Paul, this time unhappiness is rooted somewhere else.
I am not arguing for much here, my conclusion is fairly
simple: You do make your own happiness however not all of us have the luxury of
trying that. Moreover, life has taught me in the few years I have been
acquainted with her that the simplest answer is often the right one. You see in
medicine we have a principle whereby you do your best to find one cause for all
the manifestations in the body because it is simply far more likely for one
disease to express itself in different organs than for one person to have two diseases
simultaneously. I think I would be arguing that the gateway to happiness is
prematurely locked in Beirut and I only realized that after comparing it to the
European alternative.
Happiness is playing Sabah songs in your earphones and
letting her put a tune to the grey streets of Geneva before the sunrise. Happiness
is the routine of going to work with predictable timetables, o flooded streets,
having daily lunches at a fixed time, and of course no occasional bombs. Ergo happiness
is the safety needed for mundane activities which we lack in Beirut. Happiness
is getting carried away drinking wine till you miss the last bus all the while
laughing your drunkenness away because there are no services/cheap taxis in
town, leisure is simply not as accessible, A drunk fool freezes in the cold in
Geneva. Happiness is speaking your mind fully because no, not everyone hangs
around the same streets their whole life and you do not have to see those who
get offended by your blunt honesty. Happiness is working because you want to
work regardless of the credit simply because everything else is taken care of
around you as long as you perform your side of the deal and do your damn job.
Yes, the Lebanese community is incredibly intrusive but the major
obstacle to happiness is simply state infrastructure.
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