It's all in your mind. The good and the bad. Anxiety and
serenity. Serendipity and absolute coincidence. Love and loneliness. I can
spend hours writing posts about my city, my world, my views of everyday life
but there will be a time where I will have to face the facts, I have no clue
what’s just a fragment of my imagination and what is not.
Nothing’s as elusive as a breath of fresh hope and nothing
brings to the surface the troubles of your inner soul more than a challenge to
your reality. You can drink all of Hamra’s pubs worth of liquor and drink its
coffee none will numb you enough nor make you vigil enough for what’s coming.
That is the future. It seems that the major transition in my 20s is simple:
realizing that new starts are no longer as appealing as they used to be, that
the mind can no longer build an illusion on top of the other, there comes a
time where reality strikes and where you realize it is time your dreams matched
the earthy ground you are building them on.
Growing up with a religious existentialist as a best friend
(though he did not express his views with that label at the time), we often argued
about the existence of omens and signs where god expresses himself. I honestly
still think that any outside fact can be twisted and turned in a million way to
fit into a narrative where a higher power is communicating with us. And thus
not getting your dream job becomes a sign that it was not right for you. There
isn’t enough space here nor do I claim to have enough philosophical background
knowledge to attempt to refute a whole belief system. I’m just arguing that
most of the time, the mind plays tricks and shifts our whole vision of reality
to fit a theory. The optimists see the world behind pink binoculars while the
pessimists can only see how the whole world lacks harmony and bathes in
dysfunction. Most of us fall somewhere in between with varying fixations
depending on the matter at hand.
For someone who wants to spend the next few years studying
the human mind, I find this topic simply fascinating yet I can’t help but
wonder how writing my thoughts down is simply postponing the issue at hand and
that is dealing with my mind’s penetrating thoughts by writing down loops of
reasonable empty text. I do think we can access the origin of any disturbing
thought or feeling and in a moment of clarity determine what needs to be done. This
whole post in fact stemmed from an instance where I felt my brain lost control
over its vision of reality and just for a moment, I was able to look
objectively at the naked reality as it is as a voice said: “Wipe that sad face,
and no do not replace it with a strategically placed smile. You have acted long
enough, let’s have a heart to heart. What’s on your mind child? What’s keeping
you from sleeping? Do you have any spiritual ties? None. Are you in love? Never
have been. Are you trying to fall in love? No not really. Are you successful?
Haven’t been in a while. Do you strive to be successful? Maybe. Great then we
are on to something, now get out of your mind and start working on that in the
real world”
